Friday, April 20, 2012

Training: S*@t's about to get serious.

Hi guys. My obstructed internet access is really cutting into my ability to REGALE you all with stories of my running. Don't be sad. I'm right here. I'm gonna tell you about how my training schedule stopped being polite and got real.

1. Tomorrow I run 5 miles. NBD, right? Well, I have run almost five miles once. But see, I have to do that on race day. TWICE.
2. Five weeks til d-day. That means I have to run tomorrow run twice. SCURRRRY.
3. I ran four miles before work on Tuesday. I feel like I should've gotten my eggs AND some damn french toast. Alas, I just ate my eggs.
4. I have seriously started looking at the training for a half marathon. WHO AM I, AND WHAT HAVE I DONE WITH MY LAZY SELF?

Seriously, what the hell. What freaks me out the most? I'm kinda super excited about the whole thing.


Tuesday, April 17, 2012


Due to an unfortunate series of events that are unbeknownst to me, my formerly full internet access at work has been revoked.* I will pause to give you a moment to mourn this FOR me.

While I did my fair share of messing around on the interwebz, I generally used it as a break from my tasks. I mean, come on, who DOESN'T do this? (If you do, I feel fairly confident that you are reading this blog at your mistake.) It makes me upset, mainly because I cannot just mess around when my brain is too tired of dealing with serious issues. Thank goodness for smart phones and their internet capabilities. They make it SO MUCH EASIER to view the day's important viral videos.

Well, I have little to say other than my life has been spent TRYING to stick to my training schedule (RUNNING) and cooking (READ MY OTHER BLOG TOO, GUYS, IT TALKS ABOUT RECIPES AND STUFF I MADE AND I TAKE PICTURES WITH MY FANCY CAMERA.) I also am gearing up to celebrate my one year anniversary of marriage. I'm sure I will have something poignant to say about that next week other than the fact that I finally solved the mystery of the magically-appearing gum wrappers. (SPOILER ALERT: P.I.C. pops gum in his mouth and just lets that wrapper fly. Not cool.)

Until then, back to my cooking. And running. Not so much cleaning. Cuz, ya know, ain't nobody got time for that.

* For the record, it is not just me, it is everyone at my office. Stop thinking I'm a f**k-up.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Wednesday update...on Thursday.

I used to enjoy the occasional writing break at work. It was a nice outlet in a world sorely lacking in creativity. Sadly, my work has reinforced its internet regulations. It no longer finds blogger an acceptable website that I may log onto at work. (It also blocks various restaurants for the reason "Restaurants and Dining" which does not make sense to me, but whatever.)

I realized this morning that I have not updated you on my training this week. Honestly, it's not been a great week for me. It's our "step-back" week which means we aren't running as many miles, but we've also had a couple later than usual evenings which impedes our ability to get up and get the gym out of the way in the morning.

So...I guess I'm just writing this to hold myself accountable? These ten miles are not going to come easily. I will suck it up and run my two miles after work tonight, throw in an extra workout tomorrow, get my run done this weekend, then move forward. I can do this. Right? Right.

Friday, April 6, 2012

There really are people this dumb.

My building, like many buildings in downtown Chicago, has two separate elevator banks. One goes to the lower floors (one through nine), and the other bank goes to the upper floors (nine through eighteen). You can transfer to both banks on the first floor or the ninth floor. I take the elevators to the upper floors. I'm high class like that.

This concept of two elevator banks confuses people immensely. Several times per week, someone will get in my elevator only to jump out at the last moment once they realize it does not stop at the seventh floor. If they do not make it, someone in the elevator (frequently me) has to explain that they have to dismount at nine and transfer elevator banks.

Today I encountered a special kind of dumb person. To her credit, she did ask me before she got into the elevator whether this elevator stopped at the fifteenth floor. That is where her credit ends. Once I confirmed that the elevator did stop at fifteen, we were off. I did note that she did not push the button for fifteen. The elevator stopped at ten to let one gentleman off. He got out of the elevator and two people boarded.

These two new passengers were dumb too. They were confused. "Why isn't this elevator not going to the seventh floor?" I had to take a deep breath. My gut instinct was to respond, "Listen, you idiots, you got into an elevator going UP." Really, their first mistake was getting into an elevator that was going up. I explained to them that they could take the elevator down to nine and transfer.

I proceeded to exit at my floor as I was explaining this. "But hey lady. You told me this elevator went to fifteen?"

I turned around, slowly, and told her, "Ma'am, you have to push the button for it to go to the fifteenth floor."

I got off the elevator slightly stunned. Was she serious? Was she really that dumb? I just didn't get it. I should have stuck around to find out what happened. However, I felt the need to put as much space between me and the stupidity in that elevator as possible.

I understand that this post makes me slightly snobbish. If you do not work in big buildings on a regular basis, or have never, for that matter, you would not have occasion to understand why buildings have two elevator banks. I understand that it can be confusing. It's just...the people seem SO DUMB about it some days. I can't help my judging. HOWEVER. Not knowing that you actually have to PUSH THE BUTTON? Come on. That's really dumb.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Wednesday Weekly Check-in...again.

I forgot, I am training. Ya know, for the ten mile race I slightly drunkenly agreed to run. Remember last time when I updated my training progress on Wednesdays? I have decided to keep on doing just that. I feel by posting here, I at least make myself accountable. I certainly do not want to post one week and be all..."oh yeah...I wimped out." NOT ON MY WATCH.

After the Shuffle, I took one day off and started on week two of the training program. Thanks, Hal, for making your programs relatively easy to follow! (Especially for former non-runners like me!) It was manageable and I felt pretty good given that I was in decent shape following my last race.

Even better? This time, P.I.C. is joining me for all the fun activity. Honestly, I feel slightly burnt out right now. Having him there motivating me to get out there and run really helps. We are only on three miles this week (well, four this Saturday), but I'm struggling. Last night, I did NOT want to get out there and run. P.I.C. forced the issue. I'm so glad I went. I did realize one thing, however. I HAVE to do my runs in the morning during the week. I am simply just too tired and lethargic to run after work. Furthermore, the risk of me skipping workouts at night is HUGE. If I just get up and go, I have tricked my body into just letting it happen. So back to the morning workouts.

Additionally, I will take any words of wisdom from more experienced runners/athletes/trained people. This is by far the farthest distance I will attempt to run, and I am more than a little bit terrified.

Help me get to be a little bit faster. Pretty please? Oh, and for me to not die in my attempt to run ten miles. Thank you.

Until I can get myself faster, I guess logging the miles slowly will have to do. I feel like I was crazy signing up for this race. Let's try to prove that feeling wrong, shall we?

That darn cat.

Oxford begs. I am not sure why this is. I lied. I know exactly why this is. I tend to see what people food he will eat. It's my own animal experiment. Sometimes, I am a horrible cat mom and feed him things that could be potentially toxic. (Ask me about the grapes. Sigh.)

Last night, we were enjoying taco night with some perfectly ripe avocados. My favorite part of taco night? Leftover avocado. I put it on my plate, sprinkle with a little bit of sea salt, and eat plain. Really, truly delish. If that's not your style, I highly suggest you make it so. It's great. So, I'm sitting there, enjoying the last slice of avocado when I see him staring at me, with those big fat cat eyes.


I responded. "Cat, you do not like avocado, knock it off." But then I got to thinking...has he TRIED avocado? Perhaps not. Maybe he will like it. Let's try it.

I gave him a smidge on my finger. He licked it off as if it were ice cream (which is only his most favorite food after peanut butter). Of course. This weirdo of a cat LOVES avocado. Or the salt. I couldn't figure it out. P.I.C. and I had a chuckle at his weirdness and went on with our evening.

It then dawned on me...what if avocado is toxic to cats? OH NO. Of course, I go to google to diagnose. Turns out, it IS toxic to cats. Sigh. Worst cat mom ever. I only gave him a little bit, so I think he'll be okay. He didn't puke last night, so I think signs are good.

BUT. This morning, when P.I.C. woke me up, he told me that if Oxford hadn't puked from the avocado, he was sure to puke later. Apparently, a knot of hair that I had removed from his luxurious mane and forgotten to throw in the garbage (oops) was sitting on the coffee table. P.I.C. was sitting on the couch with his coffee when Oxford carefully climbed on the couch, leaned over to the coffee table and SNARFED up the hairball.

Gross. He will definitely vom that up later. But of course, no one TALKS about the toxicity of hairballs.

Oxford is such a treasure.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Juuuuuust behind the times.

In 2007, I gave up cable. I was living alone and not willing to prioritize it. I am VERY grateful for the person who left his or her wifi open for me so that if I perched JUST RIGHT on my window sill, I could facebook the crap out of an evening.

When my husband and I moved in together in 2010, we still didn't get cable. We were too cheap. We had netflix, and eventually hulu, so it was fine. We survive by marathon watching all of the good shows about a season and a half behind the current season. It stinks waiting, but the instant gratification of being able to say "just one more episode" is quite delicious.

Lately, we have been on a Mad Men kick. I'm not entirely sure why, but I had no interest in ever watching the show. Since we just wrapped up Season One of Boardwalk Empire (wooo!), I was ready for a new series. I was home sick from work one day and started watching.

Honestly? It's kind of boring. But I am still inclined to follow the show. Why not, right? I do, however, have some questions for you Mad Men watchers out there.


1. Why is Peggy Olson just a beyotch? Seriously. I cannot STAND HER.

2. I totally called Peggy's pregnancy. But seriously, she can't even say GOODNIGHT TO HER KID? (Alright, I'm a few episodes into Season Two.) AND HOW DID SHE NOT KNOW SHE WAS PREGNANT?

3. Why is Betty Draper such a boring and petty person? Ugh. WE KNOW, BETTY, YOU WERE A MODEL.

4. Pete Campbell, seriously? I just cannot stand him. I get that he's a rich and entitled kid. STOP MAKING HIM TALK LIKE THAT. IT DRIVES ME NUTS.

5. Why is Roger Sterling so sexy? Add the hipster glasses and I go nuts. F'real. I don't care that he's a jerk.

6. Why do I care that Don Draper is such a putz? Why does he continue to kiss other girls? Well, I think I answered that question with by third inquiry. Betty Draper? Ugh. Hot, but no substance. No thank you.

7. If I were inclined to like the ladies in that way, I DEFINITELY would go for Christina Hendrix over January Jones. This isn't really a question, but I would love to know which way you roll on this issue.

Stay tuned for more questions. I am sure that I will have more.

Monday, April 2, 2012

My own "Hey Girl."

Hey girl.

I know you just HAD to go visit your friend at her bar last night. I know it would have been SILLY to not drink the free drinks she was pouring down your throat. I UNDERSTAND that you have to be at work at 9:00 a.m. I do too.


Do you have to have a loud conversation with your last night booze breath on my ear?

Do you have to CHOMP THE SHIT out of your gum IN my ear?

Do you have to plot how you can clock in retroactively while I am standing a mere 4 centimeters from you?

No. No you do not.

Hey girl. Next time be a little bit more courteous of your fellow blue line passengers.


* Not to be confused with Ryan Gosling and his cute pictures and sometimes-clever sayings.