There really are people this dumb.

My building, like many buildings in downtown Chicago, has two separate elevator banks. One goes to the lower floors (one through nine), and the other bank goes to the upper floors (nine through eighteen). You can transfer to both banks on the first floor or the ninth floor. I take the elevators to the upper floors. I'm high class like that.

This concept of two elevator banks confuses people immensely. Several times per week, someone will get in my elevator only to jump out at the last moment once they realize it does not stop at the seventh floor. If they do not make it, someone in the elevator (frequently me) has to explain that they have to dismount at nine and transfer elevator banks.

Today I encountered a special kind of dumb person. To her credit, she did ask me before she got into the elevator whether this elevator stopped at the fifteenth floor. That is where her credit ends. Once I confirmed that the elevator did stop at fifteen, we were off. I did note that she did not push the button for fifteen. The elevator stopped at ten to let one gentleman off. He got out of the elevator and two people boarded.

These two new passengers were dumb too. They were confused. "Why isn't this elevator not going to the seventh floor?" I had to take a deep breath. My gut instinct was to respond, "Listen, you idiots, you got into an elevator going UP." Really, their first mistake was getting into an elevator that was going up. I explained to them that they could take the elevator down to nine and transfer.

I proceeded to exit at my floor as I was explaining this. "But hey lady. You told me this elevator went to fifteen?"


I turned around, slowly, and told her, "Ma'am, you have to push the button for it to go to the fifteenth floor."


I got off the elevator slightly stunned. Was she serious? Was she really that dumb? I just didn't get it. I should have stuck around to find out what happened. However, I felt the need to put as much space between me and the stupidity in that elevator as possible.


I understand that this post makes me slightly snobbish. If you do not work in big buildings on a regular basis, or have never, for that matter, you would not have occasion to understand why buildings have two elevator banks. I understand that it can be confusing. It's just...the people seem SO DUMB about it some days. I can't help my judging. HOWEVER. Not knowing that you actually have to PUSH THE BUTTON? Come on. That's really dumb.