Reason Number 43 why I can be a total jerk.

About a month ago, P.I.C. and I got into a discussion about romance, particularly, his lack of romance.* This is how the conversation went.

FA: "I mean, you never cook me dinner. I always menu plan, make the grocery list, and cook dinner. It's fine, but it'd be nice if you surprised me by cooking once in awhile."
P.I.C.: "I cook you dinner."
FA: "Name one time OTHER than the night you proposed."
P.I.C.:"uhhhhhh"
FA: "And you have never sent me flowers at work. I know you bring them home from Trader Joe's sometimes, but that doesn't count anymore. That doesn't take any effort, they put those flowers right in front so anyone realizes flowers are a good idea."**
P.I.C.: "Um, I don't know how to send flowers."
FA: "WHAT? How do you not know how to send flowers?"

The conversation ensued with both of us breaking into laughter at various points. He's so funny. Fast forward to two weeks ago and my birthday. He told me he was leaving work early to run an errand for my birthday.

FA: "Ooooh, are you getting me birthday flowers? NICE."
P.I.C.: "Noooo. Sorry."
FA: "Sigh."

Spoiler alert, he didn't get me flowers on my birthday. The next night, I got so bothersome about it. Mind you, I'm not really upset about this, just in a rather tenacious mood. (We'd had a few drinks, and I was relentless with my teasing.)

Eventually, P.I.C. got fed up with my antics. Perhaps they weren't as amusing as I viewed them. He sighed hugely and told me, "YOU ARE RUINING THE SURPRISE."

Wait, what? Apparently, a few days before my birthday, he had actually pre-ordered me flowers to be sent to me the Monday he was in London. He had taken our jokey argument to heart and done something completely and utterly romantic. Flowers on my birthday? Nice. Flowers just because he wanted me to know he misses me? Romantic. Perfect.

My response to this revelation? EWWWWPS. Lucky for me, this is just my personality and he wasn't too upset at me. He laughed it off.

Sure enough, Monday afternoon, I got a call to the front desk and received these beauties.

I do feel like a total jerk, but having these flowers on my desk has reminded me how lucky I am to have a husband who would take a badgering like I gave him and still let those flowers be delivered. I know you can see their beauty, but the smell is outstanding. I'm happy.***


*I realize that this is a dumb problem. I also need to acknowledge that my husband would do absolutely anything I wanted or asked of him if it was possible. I'm just a typical female and expecting him to read my mine, obviously.

**This make me look like a REAL asshole. Sorry. I kind of am.

***I also REALLY love that my husband patronized the flower shop with a purpose, Urban Meadows. This made me even happier knowing that my brattiness did some good. (RIGHT?)

There really are people this dumb.

My building, like many buildings in downtown Chicago, has two separate elevator banks. One goes to the lower floors (one through nine), and the other bank goes to the upper floors (nine through eighteen). You can transfer to both banks on the first floor or the ninth floor. I take the elevators to the upper floors. I'm high class like that.

This concept of two elevator banks confuses people immensely. Several times per week, someone will get in my elevator only to jump out at the last moment once they realize it does not stop at the seventh floor. If they do not make it, someone in the elevator (frequently me) has to explain that they have to dismount at nine and transfer elevator banks.

Today I encountered a special kind of dumb person. To her credit, she did ask me before she got into the elevator whether this elevator stopped at the fifteenth floor. That is where her credit ends. Once I confirmed that the elevator did stop at fifteen, we were off. I did note that she did not push the button for fifteen. The elevator stopped at ten to let one gentleman off. He got out of the elevator and two people boarded.

These two new passengers were dumb too. They were confused. "Why isn't this elevator not going to the seventh floor?" I had to take a deep breath. My gut instinct was to respond, "Listen, you idiots, you got into an elevator going UP." Really, their first mistake was getting into an elevator that was going up. I explained to them that they could take the elevator down to nine and transfer.

I proceeded to exit at my floor as I was explaining this. "But hey lady. You told me this elevator went to fifteen?"


I turned around, slowly, and told her, "Ma'am, you have to push the button for it to go to the fifteenth floor."


I got off the elevator slightly stunned. Was she serious? Was she really that dumb? I just didn't get it. I should have stuck around to find out what happened. However, I felt the need to put as much space between me and the stupidity in that elevator as possible.


I understand that this post makes me slightly snobbish. If you do not work in big buildings on a regular basis, or have never, for that matter, you would not have occasion to understand why buildings have two elevator banks. I understand that it can be confusing. It's just...the people seem SO DUMB about it some days. I can't help my judging. HOWEVER. Not knowing that you actually have to PUSH THE BUTTON? Come on. That's really dumb.