Thursday, July 14, 2011

Yet another invention.

I am SO PLEASED to tell you all that I have discovered a way to make my fortune. The way to put my kids through college. The way to buy my husband season tickets to Anfield every year (yes, I love you that much, honey). I present to you...


How does it work? Well, the gist is, you eat relatively healthfully all day, but you get TWO COOKIES each day. TWO. WHOLE. COOKIES. No more. You can eat them in the morning. You can eat them in the evening. You can split up the cookie experience. I don't care. But if you sign up for my TWO COOKIE DIET, you WILL lose weight. I (kinda) guarantee it.

I came up with this BRILLIANT idea last night. In fact, as I told P.I.C. all about it, I went into full on "sell it, baby" mode. I started throwing out an infomercial with some of my pleased customers (Laverne and Leroy). I started fielding questions from inquiring minds (P.I.C.) Of course, I would need to work out the kinks. Eating two Iced Sugar Cookies from Einstein Bagel (470 calories each, YIKES) would not fit into my plan. And two fig newtons probably wouldn't cut it. I would have to develop the perfectly-sized and prepared cookie. I'm on it, don't you worry. The more I sold this diet to P.I.C. (using Laverne's and Leroy's testimonials), the more I became convinced it would work.

Unless you don't like cookies. But what kind of person are YOU then?

************DISCLOSURE: I am not a health care professional. I have NO TRAINING in nutrition or dietary needs other than the common sense about basic nutrition. PLEASE BE ADVISED that I have not begun trials of my TWO COOKIE DIET. I do not advise going on the TWO COOKIE DIET without the advice of your doctor (an M.D., not a J.D.)************


  1. interesting theory....

  2. I volunteer to be the guinea pig. I'll start with pepperidge farm's tahitian cookies. And I'll eat them both right now.