The story about the BM.

I love Bloody Marys. Really. Everything about them is lovable. They are spicy. Rich. Thick. The good ones come with nice garnishments (meat and cheese fans, put your hands UP). They make drinking vodka with breakfast perfectly acceptable. What's not to love? NOTHING, I say.

A few years back, I was talking to one of my former coworkers (Salty) about how I loved them. She agreed. Also, we decided that "Bloody Mary" was much too tedious to keep repeating. We shortened it. On and on we went about how much we looooooved a good "BM." Of course, our abbreviation caused us to snicker, but we kept on with it. We talked about them at work.

Salty: "Don't you LOOOOOVE a good BM, FA?"
FA: "Oh yes, I do, Salty. Nothing better than a BM in the morning."

On and on, this conversation went. It just didn't get old. Well, another coworker, Old Blue, overheard us professing our love for the BM. He joined in.

Blue: "Man, I love a good BM in the morning. I have one every morning."

::Silence::

Salty (laughing a little): "Wait, Blue, what did you say?"
Blue: "Oh yeah. I had the BEST BM this morning."

:::Silence:::

Salty: "What are you, an alcoholic?"

Blue's smug look turned to one of confusion. He cocked his head to the side and just looked at Salty.

Blue: "Wait, what?"
Salty: "We are talking about BLOODY MARYS, Blue. Duh. What are YOU talking about? Wait. WHAT? You were telling us about your BOWEL MOVEMENTS?"

At this moment, Salty and I began laughing hysterically. Blue had just told us all about his bowel movement regularities. His face turned BRIGHT red (no small feat for the usually inappropriate and nasty Blue) and he just looked away. Eventually, he started laughing, but he was quite clearly embarrassed.

On that note, I have a killer BM recipe to share with you. I adapted it from one given to me by my brother. He used to spend time bar tending up in Wisconsin (where the best Bloody Marys in the world can be found, TRUST ME) and he passed this recipe along to me.

FABULOUSLY AWKWARD's BMs (heh)
--Can of tomato juice
--Worcestershire sauce
--pickle juice (sometimes I use the juice from a jar of banana peppers instead)
--Horseradish (I use the prepared kind in the jar)
--celery salt (this ingredient is necessary)
--Lime (lemon will work in a pinch)
--Vodka (DUH)

I do this all to taste. I start with a glass and fill it with ice. I squeeze in a wedge of lime, then add my vodka. I pour in a dash each of pickle juice and Worcestershire sauce. Then I spoon in a little horseradish (depends on how much you like.) I top with the tomato juice and a hefty sprinkling of celery salt. Pour into another glass to mix, then back in the original glass. If you want to get fancy, you can rim the original glass with celery salt. Garnish that bad boy with good stuff. My recommendations: Celery and pickles, banana peppers, salami (or any hard meat you have on hand...heh) and cheese are also great. Now you are free to enjoy your morning BM.

How do you guys make YOUR BMs? And also, where have you found the best BMs?