I'm nice.

It's true. I am nice to my friends. I try to make sure that I check in with them regularly. I like to send cards. "Happy Birthday." "Cheer up." "I miss you." "Aren't you glad we're friends so I will send you awesome cards like these?" You know, the usual cards people send. In fact, I love sending cards so much that Hallmark became too much for me. I got over the stupid "forced funny" or "forced sentimental" cards they had. I now love another card store. It's called Paper Doll and it's really great. The cards are unique and made by real artists. Some are letterpress, which really feels just so fancy and special to the tough. I love the store and all of the cards contained therein. It's a fact. If I give you a card from there, you know you've made it in my life.

OK. But I am not writing about my niceness and love of cards. NO. I started writing today because I was thinking of my niceness, then thinking "Yeah. I'm nice. 'Til you piss me off."

FOLKS, that has happened today. Rather than spending the day diligently working, I prefer to think of ways to exact my revenge on said offensive party. Here are some of my ideas:

1. Find her wedding dress and cut it up.
2. "Lose" the file.
3. Leave a small container of Chinese food in her offer, but hide it really well so she can't smell it.

Sigh. My likely action is to just ignore her and never offer to help her out again. I am quite passive aggressive.

Oh, and she will NEVER get a card from me. NEVER (again).