Thursday, June 30, 2011

So I creep....toward waterfalls...but I don't want no scrubs...

This morning, I went to the gym. No, this is not an attempt to get a pat on the back for going to the gym. I just need to frame the story appropriately. Because Bravo no longer plays repeats of such classy shows as Real Housewives of "anycity" or Top Chef Masters, I had to look for my morning entertainment elsewhere. MTV apparently plays videos in the morning. AMAZING.

Five minutes into my sweat session, I hear a familiar beat. Oh. No. You. Didn't. TLC. Scrubs. I had to sing. HAD. TO. I didn't care if I looked ridiculous. I danced too. Who cares? NOT ME. As I was informing my coworker of my silly morning behavior, and we discussed the real merits of TLC. (R.I.P. Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes"), a story popped into my head.

The year was 2003. A young girl was coming off a month in Rome, ten pounds heavier due to a diet consisting mainly of mozzarella cheese, gelato, and vino casa (rosso, claro!). She had arrived in the most beautiful, mountain-flanked country of Switzerland, Interlaken to be precise. She and her friends were enjoying the heck out of a long weekend at a hostel called Balmers, spending the days doing fun adventurous activities like white water rafting or canyoning, and the evenings eating a sandwich called the Three Species (had to keep that Rome weight on SOMEHOW) and partying in the disco. OK, so the young girl was me. And yes, I got a rather fat ass from eating too much. So what?!

Oh. Did I mention that Balmers had a disco? Oh, it sure did. We could dance away the evenings there with the adorable Swiss tour guides with silly names such as Lukey (he was SO DREAMY). Of course, the music ran the gamut to sort of old to REAL old. As in, CrazySexyCool old. Oh yes.

I was a HUGE TLC fan back in the day. I'm fairly certain that I wore out my CrazySexyCool CD back in 1995. (The 1990s were all about the compact discs, dontcha know?) Of course, that gave me a certain level of familiarity with all of the songs. In fact, it just so happened that I remembered the lyrics eight years later at a crowded disco in the basement of a hostel in Switzerland.

We were dancing the evening away when "Waterfalls" started playing. For those of you were not such huge TLC fans, there is a part toward the end of the song when Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes starts out "I seen a rainbow...yesterday..." (For those of you who might have only heard the song on the radio, you might not be aware of the rap part. They edited the song to exclude that part on the radio, a fact that used to irritate me to no end, leading me to rap right over the part where they skipped it, including when it went into the chorus. YOU WILL NOT RUIN MY SING/RAP-ALONG, RADIO STATION.)

Of course, I remembered all the words to this particular part of the song as well. I started belting out the lyrics at that part. Apparently, I was quite the novelty to the Europeans staying at our hostel because these Europeans formed a circle around me, as my fellow American students attempted to keep themselves upright. You see, I'm blonde. White. If I attempt to "rap," it's quite hilarious.

NO MATTER. I was in SWITZERLAND. The Swiss wanted to see me rap, I gave them what they wanted.

In retrospect, I imagine I looked quite the fool rapping an eight year-old song in the middle of a Swiss disco. I imagine I looked the same amount of ridiculous this morning working on my fitness as I sang (and danced) along to "No Scrubs."

I suppose I might have grown up. But some things will never change. That's just the way it is. (Did I mention I loved 2Pac too?)


  1. Dude. I'm pretty sure that if we ever met we would be friends. CrazySexyCool was my jam back in the day. It still is! And I too get pissed when I can't do the rap part in Waterfalls due to editing.

    I was listening to "Switch" the other day and rapping it to my boyfriend. I am the whitest of white girls. I believe it's part of my charm.

    hats off to your fabulous taste in music.

  2. I'm going through some insomnia tonight and have spent the last hour or ao entertaining myself w/ your blog and had to comment on this one - Balmers! Lukey!! Good times! :). - erin