Monday, November 22, 2010 life and its first world problems.

My entire life, I have struggled with sleep. Bouts of insomnia made my teenage years nearly unbearable at times. I would lay in bed for hours, letting my thoughts wash over me. The events of each of my days would replay in my head as though I was watching a television show (albeit a very boring one. My teenage years were supremely tame.) I was afraid of the dark for the longest time. I would lay in bed paralyzed with fear that if I rolled over, surely a ghost would be there to greet me. Not a cute Casper ghost either, it would be one of those super-spooky apparitions that would likely make me die of fright from its very sight.

Tonight is yet another one of those nights. I'm not sure if it is the recent burglary that causes me stress, or the upcoming vacation that is not fully booked that makes me lay in bed unable to catch the hours of sleep I so desperately need. Perhaps it was the "meeting" we had today at work that despite me knowing that I haven't screwed anything up, made me feel stressed as though I was going to screw something up. Inevitable, right?

So here, I sit, well past my bedtime. I am fretting. Not from the non-Casper ghost (although I sure am glad I conjured up THAT memory), but from my life. My silly, first world problem-riddled life that causes me anxiety. After putting this all down in print, I realize how silly my perceived problems are. Perhaps now I can go to sleep.

Sigh. Don't cry for me, Argentina. I will be in Panama in T minus sixteen days. It's not South America, but it is close enough. I have a feeling that nine days in warmer climates with a fabulous hike and a few days on the beach will be just what I need to recharge my tired battery. I mean, it has been five and a half years since my last vacation.

What did I tell ya? Nothing but first world problems.

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