Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Things I'm glad he didn't steal.

I moved to Chicago in the fall of 2000. It is the fall of 2010 and it (finally?!) happened: We were burgled. Yep. Yesterday, as P.I.C. and I were off putting bread on our table, some jackass found it necessary to shimmy through our front window and steal our shit.

We called the police, they sent a guy to dust for fingerprints and then were left to survey the real damage and determine what else was missing, aside from the obvious.

In an attempt to refrain from crying over the certain irreplaceable things they took, I am going to tell you all of the things I am grateful he DID NOT steal.

1. Oxford. One thing is for certain, he sucks at being a guard cat. The truth is, however, had something happened to him, I would have been devastated. I mean, look at this face:

Hi burglar. Want to pet me????

2. The coffee maker (and grinder). Because, as our burglar quickly discovered, we are the epitome of a young urban professional household and we love our Cuisinart.

3. The current pile of non-perishables I have been amassing for Daisy, JD's Comments for Cans drive. (Upon visiting her site, it looks as though I need to hit up the store for some more cans.)

4. Sex and the City. So, apparently the burglar loved P.I.C.'s brand new xbox 360 and all of his games as well as Mission Impossible (One AND Two, but not Three), but they had no interest in my collection of Sex and the City DVDs. My inner Nancy Drew tells me our burglar was definitely a dude. (Not to worry, I did inform the police officers of this deduction.)

5. Our passports. We can still go on vacation, guys! Yay!

6. The booze. Because on thing is for certain, after finding out that someone broke into your home, you definitely need a drink. Word to that noise.

We are also grateful that our friends and family (and the Internet universe...those people on twitter that follow me and I have never met...) had such kind words and are sending good vibes our way. We will get through this.

So, to my friends and family reading this: Thank you.

To the guy who broke into our apartment yesterday: Fuck you.


  1. Ugh, my sister and friend (both cat owners) were recently burgled. The thought of some jackarse near my kitties makes me sick.

  2. Fuck that guy indeed.

    I'm glad you, PIC, and Oxford are safe.

  3. Fuck that guy. I hope he chokes on whatever he took. (Assuming, of course, he tries to eat it.)

  4. I'm glad you guys are okay and Oxford survived the traumatic encounter. I also fourth the sentiment of "fuck that guy".