This really happened.

I went to court this afternoon to present a motion I filed last week. As required, I had sent notice to the opposing party.

Opposing party did not show up. The judge sat on the bench for TEN minutes reading my motion. My THREE page motion (double-spaced). Ten minutes. She then looks up at me and says, "Counsel, I have read your motion. Proceed."

Now, for those of you non-lawyers out there, this is not how things usually goes down. The judges always usually sometimes read your motion before court. Additionally, if the respondent (that person who did not FILE the motion, so NOT ME in this situation) does not show up, the moving party (ME) will win without much argument.

No. This judge wanted me to give a FULL ON oral speech. So I did. But not until she had thoroughly read (and memorized) my brief and succint motion.

When you see a judge sitting there for TEN MINUTES reading your motion, lots of thoughts run through your head. "Shoot. Maybe she knows something I don't know. Maybe she will deny it because he's not here. What if I don't move my left leg from it's locked position? I might fall in the front of the courtroom. Oh, it's cool, there are only three other pro se litigants in here. And the clerk. And the court reporter. Falling would have minimal impact on my life today. But just in case, I should unlock that left leg. There ya go. Now. SHE'S STILL READING THE FIRST PAGE? That's only the part where I say who I represent and that the PLAINTIFF SUED MY CLIENT..."

And so on.

I won. Thank goodness. It's not every day you fear losing a motion when it is unopposed.