Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Fighting with anxiety.

I feel stressed out constantly lately. Work has been very busy, and I think about my cases all the time. Of course, the wedding planning is always there in the back of my mind, but more often right in the front of my mind.

I shouldn't complain. I have a good job. I can pay my bills (well, mostly). I have a wedding coming up to marry the man of my dreams. I have the best friends and family a girl could ever want. 2011 has been amazing to me so far. But underneath all of the happiness and good memories I have been creating, anxiety remains there.

Part of it is my inability to not procrastinate. I know this. Yet I am seemingly incapable of changing. How does one just start acting, rather than waiting 'til the last minute and panicking? What is absolutely insane is that I know how to make it better. I just need to DO the things I put off. I'm not so swamped that I cannot get my work done. I swear. Yet I feel no real motivation which is utterly depressing.

I wonder if part of my problem is that I'm not truly passionate about my chosen profession. Yes, I do like my job sometimes (usually, I just tolerate it, which is good enough for me), but I'm not excited about it for the most part. I don't get up and feel charged and ready for work. I want to change that, but I am seemingly incapable of figuring it out.

Sigh. At least the sun is shining today. That's something, right?


  1. Poor girl! We're also going for lunch this week, so that's something. :)

  2. Dude, I freaking feel you in so many different ways. I am kind of in a transitional phase towards the end of a college degree that I no longer feel passion or desire for and a job I can't wait to quit. I am trying to move in new directions, but in the mean time trying to find the ability to take care of things and do things sooner rather than later.
    It's easier said than done, but I just have to keep going and keep trying. That's all we can really do, right?
    Just keep swimming.