Friday, March 4, 2011

The full body press

Yesterday, I had a rather traumatic experience on the el (seriously, where else?), and I had to wait an entire twenty-four hours before I could even begin thinking about writing this.

So here I am. Ready to talk about it. Ready to tell you all how I was violated on the CTA.

A little information: I ride the blue line every morning. I am a mere three stops from work. When it does not break down, I am only on the train for approximately five minutes. The el is usually very crowded, but when you are on the train for such a short time period, you suck it up. You cram onto the train by ducking under other's arms and finding your little bit of personal space and holding on where you can grab. However. That does NOT mean you push your body up against someone else's body in a a complete way. This is where yesterday morning went all wrong.

The train was crowded, as usual. I saw the perfect little room just for ME. Yes, I was close to my other passengers, but that is just fine. Then I felt it. Someone boarded the train behind me. A man. His ENTIRE front of his body was PRESSED up against the ENTIRE rear of my body. I could feel. his. breath. on my neck. HE WAS SO CLOSE.

I inched a smidge, as much as I could. No matter. It was as if static electricity was pulling that man's front-side to my back-side. I began to sweat. My breathing was difficult, and I was feeling ready to pass out. I prayed that at the next stop someone would get out so I could move. No. Even worse. SOMEONE ELSE BOARDED AND SMOOSHED HIM EVEN MORE INTO ME.

I had to ride TWO stops with this man's ENTIRE FRONT smooshed against my back. I desperately looked for someone with whom to make eye contact. ANYONE. Please? Someone see me screaming with my eyes. One girl looked sympathetic, but she did not move. I was stuck.

I got off the train and had to stop to catch my breath, because I was ready to pass out. I felt so violated. I felt as though I needed a shower. That, or that man owed me something. Cuz seriously, that full body press is something you DO NOT GET WITHOUT BUYING ME DINNER.

Today I had an uneventful ride. Pleasant, even. Sadly, the full body press and my three stops experiencing it will never leave my mind. Let this be a lesson to you all as to NOT ride the CTA. Please?


  1. um, ew. personal space is WAY undervalued in city living.

    idea: scream at the top of your lungs "what's poking me in the butt?" he'll be too traumatized to ever stand near anyone again.

  2. LOL! (At the comment above!)

    As for your experience, that is awful. How did you not say anything? Seems like that guy was a perv or he would know better. And I'm sure me saying that doesn't make you feel any better. Sorry.