My cat might have pica.

I know what you're thinking..."pica" is another abbreviation that Fabulously Awkward loves to use to confuse her readers. Maybe it stands for "Partner in Crime's Assistant?" Nope. I mean pica, the disorder where you eat non-food items like paper or dirt.

Google Health says this:
Children and adults with pica may eat:
-Animal feces
-Clay
-Dirt
-Hairballs
-Ice
-Paint
-Sand

Not that Oxford eats dirt or animal feces Well, not that I have witnessed. I have, however, witnessed him eat a hairball. Sick. And he has this thing where he licks plastic bags. H&M bags are his absolute favorite. He likes to lick bubble wrap too, as I just learned last night. And the handle on the kitty litter box? That's HIS little chew toy. He can't stay away from it. He likes plastic objects. Oh, and bleach spray. Anytime I am cleaning and use the bleach spray, he RUNS to the area where I am cleaning and rolls around, as though I had just spread a fresh batch of catnip for him to ingest. Generally, when he does this, I am quite lazy (well, that's almost always) so I just clap very loudly and he will run away. But the temptation is so great that if I do not move the bag out of his reach, he will slink back over and resume his tender licking of that bag. I generally have to get up and remove the bag from his reach.

Licking a bag doesn't seem too bad, right? He's not actually chewing on foreign objects and swallowing them. There might be chemicals on the bags, yes, so that is why I take the bags away. But the noise is SO ANNOYING. You might not think it's such a big deal. So allow me to set the scenario for a bag-licking cat episode. You are snug in your comfy bed after a long day, ready for some much needed sleep. You begin to drift off toward your dreams when you hear a repetitive noise of a scratchy cat's tongue licking a plastic bag. You attempt to shake it off and fall asleep, but the licking seems to get more intense, as if the cat has brought the bag into your bedroom to taunt you. You can do nothing else but get out of your snuggle zone, locate the bag and cat, and remove the bag. Annoying, right?

After doing some careful research (thanks google!), I feel relatively certain that Oxford has pica. What do I do now?