Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Sh*t my little sister says???

You know that guy on twitter? The one that has all of those random things his dad says? It is quite hilarious. If you do not follow him on twitter, you really should. An interesting episode last night prompted me to ask myself this question: Should I start one called "Shit my little sis says?"

Last night, I had won free Cubs tickets and chosen to take said Little Sis to the game. I knew she wouldn't stay the entire game, having taken her over two years ago and leaving quite early. However, last night, we lasted exactly a half of an inning. Seriously. I picked her up, we had gone to Bacci for pizza and were set for a few innings of fun. We were walking to the stadium when she promptly informed me, "You know, F.A., I really only like the White Sox because they are good." Fair enough, the White Sox are better than the Cubs at the moment. I can understand that logic. She then began to explain to me that she just didn't like a losing team. (Join the club, L.S. None of us do.) No matter to her, she was going to watch this game with me because she thinks I am awesome. True story.

We climb all the way to the top where our seats are located (free, so no complaints here) and sit. She takes my camera, starts taking photographs of the stadium, the birds, etc. A few minutes before the game even starts, she tells me she is having a stomach pain right along the side of her stomach. I ask her if she'd like to go home and she declines. Five minutes later, she tells me that she thinks she would like to go home. The game had not even started yet. I ask her if she would like to see if she can last one inning and then go home. Her mom wasn't expecting her for an hour, and I hadn't seen her for awhile. I had hoped it was just a passing stomach pain. She then says this to me, "Well, I really don't want to spoil your fun, but I think I should go home." We made it through the first half of the first inning. We walk out to the el at which point she tells me the following.

L.S. "Well. I did eat some Fiber One bars earlier today."
F.A. "How many bars did you eat? And more importantly, in how much time?"
L.S. "I ate two. No. Three. Wait, two and a half. I ate two, then I finished the rest of my mom's. So more like two and a half."
F.A. "When did you eat these?"
L.S. "Oh, in fifteen minutes."


Folks, I believe we have located the problem. Sigh. As I mentioned before, this got me thinking about some of the other crazy stuff she has said to me over the course of our match (what the organization calls the relationship).

L.S. "I remember back in the day..." (She said this when she was ten years-old.)

L.S. "My cousin was actin' the fool..."

L.S. "I told my friends that you look like Avril Lavigne."
F.A. "I really don't think that I do. No one else has ever said that."
L.S. "Um, yes, you totally do. I just told them that you don't dress like her and that you have glasses. You don't dress like her. But I probably would."

L.S. "The boys just won't leave me alone because I am so attractive." (She is a very lovely girl, but imagine this said by a ten year-old. Adds a new level of hilarity.)

These are a small sampling of the crazy things that she will utter to me with a straight face. I don't know if a twitter page will garner quite the following, mostly because I try to avoid saying "shit" in front of her. "Stuff my Little Sis Says" just doesn't have quite the same ring.

1 comment:

  1. The stuff people say is the mainstay of what I blog about. A lifetime of fodder is what I always say!