Three wishes.

The other day, I put this up as my status on facebook:

Fabulously Awkward needs a genie. First wish: Packed. Second wish: Moved. Third wish: Unlimited wine and cheese.

However, now that I am (almost) fully packed and my movers have confirmed, my wishes have changed. First wish: Hammock on a nice beach. Second wish: Bucket full of ice and Corona Lights. Third wish: Cabana boy to stick the appropriate lime wedge into my beer and serve it to me when I am thirsty. (What?! If I have a genie, I am wishing for something truly redonk. True story.)

I don't always wish for the same things when I get my "I need a genie" thought in my head. Why is that? I lead a pretty grand life. So I like to only wish for the most insane things that I most likely won't get. Although, I do have a birthday coming up. (Hint, hint, P.I.C. Perhaps you can don your best Cabana boy digs and serve me cervesas on a beach whilst I lay in a hammock? Best birthday ever, I'd say.)

Some days my wishes are mean-spirited (Third wish: That girl who STEPPED ON MY TOE on the bus falls down when she gets off the bus.) Some days they are genuine (First wish: Just fix the oil spill. Please. Make it go away.) Most days, they are ridiculous. Frankly, I tend to be a rather ridiculous person, so it is only fitting that my wishes are ridiculous.

What are YOUR three wishes for today? Serious comments only. JUST KIDDING. The more ridiculous, the better. In fact, I will give a GREAT PRIZE for the best wishes. (Just kidding. Again.)

(Here's the lamp. Rub it. Make three wishes and then tell me.)